The Greatest Act

'....Thursday 9th January 2014 ...This year may possibly be the year that everything starts to fall into place for us. The year we start to put foundations in place just for you.
I don't know who you are yet and when you will be here but know this as my first words that i ever speak to you, you are loved and wanted more than anything in the world.  With a tiny flicker of hope and with a little whisper of magic you may just be on your way as this year ends.' 
- Taken from 'My self indulgent lupus pregnancy diary'.

As the heartwarming, sentimental photos and testimonials of love and admiration for our Mum's ease from our Facebook and Instagram feeds, I am yet again feeling the significance of the changes that are occurring and the blessing that I too, all being well, will be celebrating Mother's day next year. But the catalyst for this post really being a message my sister sent me yesterday.

Great Expectations

July 2014

The first thoughts that spring to mind as I begin this post is my husband, you see, I havent forewarned him yet that i'm writing such a post.. and then of course is the thought that the subject is deeply personal, and a lot of people wouldn't even consider publishing such a private matter. But this blog was always designed to be brutally honest and talk about things that so many people like us are thinking and feeling but feeling like they are the only ones doing so. I consider it a moderate insight into our privacy, a sort of airing your clean instead of dirty laundry in public  The subject of course being the ever dominating topic of babies. I have talked openly before about our situation when it comes to having a family. But ever closer rolled the time where we made that scary joint trip to my consultant to talk through the options. With lupus a lot of pregnancies go head quite healthily and normally with additional supervision and support. But when you've had complications like mine, the process is complex and classed as high risk.
As the months have whizzed by this year, that moment seemed so very far away and not an inch closer, even with the date for the doctors appointment marked in my diary and visible with barely few flicks of a page, it seemed a million miles away and completely alien to us. But soon enough we were walking those hospital corridors and reminiscent of of Oliver Twist, were asking.. 'please sir, can we have a baby.'