Dear Claire,
If I start by rewinding back to this time five years ago, we are back in a year that seems so alien rolling off the tongue now we are in the millennial teens of 2013, we are hopping back to 2008 with a pointers inspired by the great unknowable power of hindsight.
You have a lovely little flat of your own, a very nice young man indeed, despite the sarcasm and lack of housekeeping skills (don't worry, plenty of time to sort that out later) and a great job you've had for just over a year.. and isn't that good? It's been an incredible year for you, you've worked very hard and you should be very proud of yourself.
Just eighteen months ago you were working in a shoe shop run by a gambler and living in a cold damp house with a promiscuous irishman, his gay brother and a hippy loner from new zealand.
In ten days time you move in with the love of your life and as fate would have it just to make it that touch more romantic, just in time for Christmas. Don't get too excited, there isn't a diamond ring in your Christmas cracker this year (it's a pink nintendo DS) but just hold your horses, all good things come to those who wait. This one's a keeper, he just likes to bide his time (with everything) very annoying and frustrating right now but it's something that you will love very much.
One thing you will have noticed by now is the joint pain, the endless pounding in your fingers and inability to straighten your left arm without a shock of white pain down it. Yeah, that's not normal and it's not just arthritis, you should go the doctors for them to keep an eye on it, there's probably not much they can do right now and be prepared for them to not believe you that much, as blood tests at this stage will not really show that much to build a case, but at least if you are repetitive in your visits you might get an answer sooner than I did.
My advice for the next few months is to gain a bit of perspective with work and ask those above to help, you've just done 12 days in a row without a day off correct? that is not acceptable and you have absolutely no idea the strain you will put on your body as you continue to do this for another year. Stop. Now. You will find the act of separating the two an arduous task, as you always want to do the best for everyone, including the people who pay your wages, but you're forgetting one vitally important thing. You have completely forsaken yourself. Be selfish, rota days off and book holiday time, negotiate for staff, delegate tasks and stop doing everything yourself. It is a shop, the staff will cope and the business will continue to run.. and we'll leave that part just there.
Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Thursday, 14 November 2013
The language barrier.
Lupus suffers are often the masters of disguise, in our own little world what we say or do is not exactly what we mean.. and perhaps sometimes neither do others in our lives..
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
Tis (almost) the season to be poorly..
As I looked out of the window yesterday morning at the first frost on the cars, it yet again reminded me that the worst of the winter months are yet to come, along with the busiest and most exhausting times at work. The times I'll need all the strength I can get but will have my energy tested to the limit with bugs, germs and aching bones from the cold.
Saturday, 9 November 2013
A Poem for my darling daughter Claire
A Poem for my darling daughter Claire
I remember the day you were born, it feels like yesterday
I looked into your beautiful face, you took my breathe away
I promised to protect you and love you your whole life through
Because you are my daughter, it’s what mothers do.
Friday, 8 November 2013
The Incredible Power of Denial..
For today.... a few words from my husband.
It's early Febuary 2011, early evening. I'm stood in the back yard of the small terraced house me and Claire rented. The same terraced house I had proposed to her in on Christmas day, just over 12 months ago. It's five months until the wedding and Claire isn't there, she's in hospital.
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