Anyway i'm rambling back to the point i started with: worked hard, been ill ridiculous amount of times, not had a day off (hero complex), worked crimbo = looking forward to a week off to see my nephews and have a few days to myself, do jobs i'm too tired to do when working and generally recharge. Lovely yes? * family fortunes style buzzer noise*
After spending three lovely days with my nephews I am rewarded with so four days of chronic nausea and lethargy and not want to touch and ounce of food, at which point left me with precisely 1 day to hopefully recover and get my strength back before i had to go back to work on Sunday. Holiday over for me. Then by the grace of god another miracle happened! Woke up monday with my fifth cold and bad chest since the beginning of December. Now i don't know about you but i think that is a personal best! an average of 0.4 illness per week or 2.4 per month (yes I did the maths), i certainly hit the jackpot with this one.
You see the thing about Lupus is when he comes to the party, he usually brings a few of his mates along too, and i'm not just talking about colds, flu and stomach bugs - they're just gatecrashers that turn up occasionally, annoying but easily distracted by the next party and soon move on - Unfortunately there's some big boys that turn up, make a real mess and you need to get the professionals in to help clear out.
I know the best of us have to deal with being struck down at the most inconvenient of times, who hasn't been ill as soon as we finish work for christmas - but when you've had to rearrange and change your whole lifestyle already and it continues to happen with unfair regularity you can't help but feel that someone is starting to have a laugh at your expense. Its these times that yet again I have to really dig deep to gain perspective on the whole situation, to realise that things have been far worse. But i'll be the first to admit it's hard, when there's something new to deal with my health nearly every week it's easily to slip into mindset of believing there's somebody up there having a big laugh. Thankfully i have a wonderful husband that keeps me very grounded and friends that do remind me quite often they 'do actually give a shit'.
I probably sound like a broken record by now but its very true that there is always someone worse off out there or hurting more. People proportion blame for things that are wrong in their lives far too broadly and with misplaced fact - what a difference it would make if they actually cherished the smaller things and valued what they had in front of them. Perhaps then if there really was blame for something they could pinpoint the problem directly, you can't blame a whole hospital for the failings of one doctor. If i was angry and tried to blame someone or something for all that happened to me and how its taken my life right off track, i'd have no friends, no job and nothing worth trying to hold onto.
One of my major frustrations is peoples lack of perspective, even with the smaller things, why get angry at the bus being late when you know your friend is ill? why get angry about what the bitch at work has said when you get to go home to a warm house and loving husband? worry about your health, your family's safety and how your friends are, not whether you can afford a holiday this year.
Can you get this type of perspective without experiencing anything awful or traumatic or character building in your life? I honestly don't know, i think there are those who have in incredibly open mind and can easily see without a glimpse or reminder and i think there's those who can by seeing it through the eyes of someone else, inspiration making them see the light of day.
You see the thing about Lupus is when he comes to the party, he usually brings a few of his mates along too, and i'm not just talking about colds, flu and stomach bugs - they're just gatecrashers that turn up occasionally, annoying but easily distracted by the next party and soon move on - Unfortunately there's some big boys that turn up, make a real mess and you need to get the professionals in to help clear out.
I know the best of us have to deal with being struck down at the most inconvenient of times, who hasn't been ill as soon as we finish work for christmas - but when you've had to rearrange and change your whole lifestyle already and it continues to happen with unfair regularity you can't help but feel that someone is starting to have a laugh at your expense. Its these times that yet again I have to really dig deep to gain perspective on the whole situation, to realise that things have been far worse. But i'll be the first to admit it's hard, when there's something new to deal with my health nearly every week it's easily to slip into mindset of believing there's somebody up there having a big laugh. Thankfully i have a wonderful husband that keeps me very grounded and friends that do remind me quite often they 'do actually give a shit'.
I probably sound like a broken record by now but its very true that there is always someone worse off out there or hurting more. People proportion blame for things that are wrong in their lives far too broadly and with misplaced fact - what a difference it would make if they actually cherished the smaller things and valued what they had in front of them. Perhaps then if there really was blame for something they could pinpoint the problem directly, you can't blame a whole hospital for the failings of one doctor. If i was angry and tried to blame someone or something for all that happened to me and how its taken my life right off track, i'd have no friends, no job and nothing worth trying to hold onto.
One of my major frustrations is peoples lack of perspective, even with the smaller things, why get angry at the bus being late when you know your friend is ill? why get angry about what the bitch at work has said when you get to go home to a warm house and loving husband? worry about your health, your family's safety and how your friends are, not whether you can afford a holiday this year.
Can you get this type of perspective without experiencing anything awful or traumatic or character building in your life? I honestly don't know, i think there are those who have in incredibly open mind and can easily see without a glimpse or reminder and i think there's those who can by seeing it through the eyes of someone else, inspiration making them see the light of day.
