Friday 7 March 2014

'roid rage



If theres one thing about this disease that offers certainty it's the guarantee that nearly every week there is something new to deal to with or lesson to learn. This week's lesson teaches the importance of HOW UTTERLY AWFUL AND ADDICTIVE STEROIDS ARE and even though you know you are not addicted in the shoplifting to feed your habit sense YOUR BODY IS AND WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER! There, that's the angry annoyed bit done with




Most people associate steroids with images of grossly bulging, oiled and overtly formed biceps, triceps, abs and other muscles I don't know the name for, but actually steroid use is far more common and everyday than you might expect.

Steroids (also known as cortisone or corticosteroids) are hormones that occur naturally in the body. They decrease inflammation, suppress the body's immune system, block DNA from being made, as well as block a chemical called histamine (released during an allergic reaction).

The type of steroids used to treat diseases like mine are called corticosteroids. They are different to the anabolic steroids which some athletes and bodybuilders use. Anabolic steroids have very different effects. The steroids I take are oral steroids, they come in various different brand names, Prednisolone is the most commonly used oral steroid prescribed in the UK and that I have the 'pleasure' of taking (tip: swallow quick or you'll know about it - it's what I imagine window cleaner tastes like - except it won't make you mouth crystal clear and streak free).

This week I have realised how truly exhausting it is to work full time whilst trying to undertake the second reduction of my steroid tapering regime. When I first started to reduce back in January I reduced my dose from 7.5mg a day to 7mg, for those familiar with dosage it was changing from alternate 5mg and 10mg days (averages as a 7.5mg daily dose over a weekly period) to a 7mg dose.

Such a small adjustment I took it for granted that it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference, how wrong was I! The swirl of nausea that waves through your body, a surge of warmth that saw me panting like a woman in labour and or clambering for the staff loo at work only for it to pass seconds later. Then there's the numbing fatigue that as comes on as quick as you can flick a light switch, BANG, you are knocked off your feet, except your stood rigid and can't move, everything tingles and your body feels like an empty shell, I swear there are handprints in the cash desk at work where I've gripped the woodwork whilst smiling at the passing customers.

The latest stage of tapering has this week brought with it all of the above, along with an inextinguishable headache that made my eyes bulge and a throbbing so bad that I could feel it in my jaw and teeth. That started Sunday, today is Friday and the only respite was Wednesday, I escaped with a slight fuzzy headedness. Today, the beast is still lingering at the the back of my head but so far I am relatively unscathed with a bit of fogginess and a touch of nausea (dear me i'm sounding like a weather report) which will shortly be obliterated by a huge mug of peppermint tea an godsend and total saviour for me.

It just annoys me that I have to suffer in the course of trying to achieve something positive. It's like a odd form of torture, I am being punished because my body is working well (well.. better anyway) and I am adjusting my dosage to accommodate that, how rude!

People have asked why I am working through this, why don't I take a day off, go home early if I don't feel amazing, I never really answer much more than an 'i'll be be alright in a minute' or 'i just need to sit down for five minutes' and the truth is, that while you think i'm just being a burning martyr, I'm thinking that this illness has taken enough away from me, it won't take away my freedom of choice and I will choose when I feel like I can't do anymore. It's not about stubbornness, it's about not being defeated, and when I have lost so many battles in the past from being ill, I refuse to be defeated when I am well, it makes me angry. Another side effect of steroids.


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